Secret Women's Business

With so many people to meet, members excitedly greeting you left, right and centre and numerous social events…sorority life is undeniably fun.

There is a sense of being a part of something, even though I haven’t figured out exactly what that ‘something’ is yet. The girls in Zeta are so fun, loving and enthusiastic it is impossible not to feel welcome. We’ve had our first ‘Girls’ Night Out’ and have fraternized with a frat at a mixer.

Tuesday, however, was secret women’s business aka welcome/ formal pledging. Tuesday also so happened to be the day of Duke’s very first snow ‘storm’ since semester started. I ran squealing out of work to embrace the very soft falling flakes of snow, and whilst those from Florida and Arizona happily joined me, Chicago and New York sighed in exasperated amusement. North Carolina doesn’t really do snow…When your rehearsals are cancelled because of snow that melts before it even touches the ground, you know your state can’t handle snow.

Funnily enough it was bitterly cold as I made my way to pledging (freed from my rehearsals). It was a very unique, very traditional and ‘movie moment’ experience. I would like to tell you what we wore…but it’s a secret. I would like to tell you what we did….but that’s a secret. I would like to tell you what the room contained…but that’s a secret. And I would really love to tell you what we pledged to…but as you know…that’s a secret.

There’s no doubt that I have fully embraced sorority life already, and am looking forward to whatever it brings next …

Confession: I’m eyeing off all the Zeta branded clothing on campus…but shhh that’s a secret!

Bid Day!!

I could say a lot of things about bid day, but in the spirit of honesty-blogging I am going to tell the truth. Bid day was a little insane. The night before I had weird dreams of getting into sororities that didn’t even exist at Duke, or being the only person in my sorority. Today we gathered at 12:30 in Duke’s Bryan Centre, with about 400 girls secretly (or not so secretly freaking out). As we filed into the theatre to boppy ‘everything will be fun and wonderful music’ I was really nervous. I had put down my preferences and I was really hoping to get into my first choice. Watching the slideshow of pictures from rush and waiting to get the envelope that contained my bid, time seemed to stop. I got a white envelope with my name on it, as did the hundreds of girls around me. 5,4,3,2,1 everyone shouted and ripped open their letters. Mine had a blue and silver crest and cordially invited me join the sisters of Zeta Tau Alpha. It wasn’t my first choice, and at first I was deeply disappointed. Not so much because I didn’t like Zeta, I had met amazing girls there, genuine, funny, and interesting and loved their philanthropy. I just couldn’t help wondering what I had done wrong yesterday with my other choice. Why didn’t my first choice want me anymore? I knew the girls and I had really connected there and couldn’t understand why they didn’t offer me a bid. After talking to my Gamma Chi I understood that not getting a bid didn’t necessarily mean that those girls didn’t like me. As one girl said “it's such a numbers game and all gets put into the computer and crunched”.

The very best discovery that came with being in Zeta was that my very best friends were in it with me too! As I went to bid day and rekindled friendships with Zeta girls I had met throughout the process I realized just how many friendly, fun girls I remembered and was excited to see again! I had a great afternoon meeting the girls, learning a little more about the sorority, taking pictures whilst making the Zeta symbol with my fingers and playing games. They were all so welcoming, and I am really genuinely excited to be a part of Zeta. We have our first official event tonight and I can’t wait to meet more of my new ‘sisters’.

Slowing down the Rush

Otherwise known as ‘pref-round’ or preference round, round 4 is a very exciting but nerve-racking day for all involved. Today we would only be going to a maximum of 3 sororities, and at the end of the day we would rank them 1-3. This ranking signals which one you would most like a bid from, right down to the least.

There were tears before the day even started as Gamma Chi’s called girls to break the news that they had only been called back to one sorority today, leaving them with only one option. Often that one option was not desirable and we had girls dropping out of the entire process, crying, or storming around in an angry rage demanding to know “WHY????”. “This system is bull****!!” was a common cry.

Aside from this not-so-pretty and quite saddening side to the rush process, round 4 had us showered in love, attention and only talking to one or maybe two girls from each sorority. The time for interaction increased to an hour, and so the conversation moved from small-talk to much broader and more interesting topics. The rooms were redecorated yet again, the girls in matching colours and I even consumed a delicious chocolate macaron at one sorority.

The day went quickly and soon it was time to sign the MRABA. The MRABA is like a contract, stating that no matter what happens on bid day you will accept a bid from any of your remaining (max) 3 sororities. You then rank the sororities, and under the watchful eye of an adult volunteer (really feels like a contract) sign your sorority life away to the pan-hel gods.

Making the decision this time wasn’t as hard as I thought. As I went to each sorority, I realised there was one where I felt really at home. I can only hope that they felt I fit in too. I am a little nervous to get my bid, but no matter what happens all three of my options have amazing girls. Bid day and beyond is apparently just a showering of love and attention (who can go wrong with that?) and a chance to meet so many new friends to share new experiences with.

Throughout this process I have learnt a lot.

-       How to pronounce and remember the names of the sororities (I may have been calling one Delta Theta Phi once upon a time…)

-       What “dirty rushing” is (influencing, or pre-claiming PNM’s to ensure they join) a complete no-no.

-       How to small talk like a champion and whittle my life story: why-i-moved-to-America, what-Australia-is-like and what-do-I-like-to-do-in-my-spare-time down to a fine art.

-       That no matter what you say, and how much you are determined to not let it get to you, getting cut from sororities does hurt.

-       There will be tears, tears everywhere.

But I most importantly learnt that rush is an amazing, unique experience that I am so glad I was a part of. I have met interesting, diverse, dynamic girls from all ages and places and have been lucky enough to receive some of their wisdom. I have learnt of great classes to take, where to travel, clubs to join and where the best coffee is on campus. No matter which sorority I end up in there are a handful of girls, in all-different chapters that I really hope to connect with after rush. Girls who speak of elephant trekking, spirit animals, eating entire pints of Ben and Jerry’s and dressing up as giant bananas.

After Rush, I feel a little bit more American, but also a lot more connected to Duke and its intelligent, funny young women.

Is it Bid day yet?

A touch more tension..

As the pre-panhel ladies of Duke filed in to get their schedules for the day, there was definite tension in the air…and a few crossed fingers. People were fidgeting with their carefully placed accessories which aimed at the 'slightly-formal-but-not-trying-too-hard' look of the day. By the time round 3 arrives cuts are getting more severe, and PNM’s (aka us) are getting more attached to particular sororities. Many were incredibly disappointed by their cuts this round, and I know a lot of us were looking at some of our cuts and wondering ‘why’? There was definitely a lot of talk: “but I loved them”, “we got on sooo well”, “they totally liked me at the time!”.

 “What happened?”

That’s the thing with rush, you will never know “what happened”. With a thousand and one possible reasons for why you might have been dropped, you will never know why exactly you didn’t make it back on their list. Fact of the matter 'they're just not that into you'.

We visited a maximum of 5 sororities today and started seriously considering where we would like to end up. At the end of the day ‘cutting’ two sororities was equally hard as the last time, what if they were the one? Should you give that one another chance? 

The final round will have us go to a maximum of three sororities, only to have to rank them in the order we wish to receive a bid from. We can only get one bid, from one sorority which could be any of our final (max) three. Tomorrow’s decision making will be difficult. There is also the concern as round 4 approaches that some of your favourite three will drop you in this final hurdle, which could mean a less-desired bid for you come Sunday. But though I had no voice left, and everyone is pretty well exhausted, I still had a great time. Going through these final stages, there is an excited energy as we realise that very soon we will actually BE in a sorority. We also have established connections with some girls, and are excited to see them again in rounds. Even if you don’t end up in that sorority, you know that running into them on campus (once we are allowed to talk to them again) could lead to coffee and even perhaps a new friendship. Bring on the final round!  

Rush continues...

Round two was the beginning of ‘crunch time’. It was the first round that we started getting cut from sororities. Girls anxiously grabbed their schedules to gaze upon what sororities had asked them back, and which had ‘dropped them’. Looks of excitement and disappointment flashed across our faces as we resigned ourselves to our ‘new’ pool of options. In spite of this the atmosphere was still bubbly and happy as a wave of girls, all in matching PanHellenic recruitment shirts headed back for Round 2. There was definitely even more enthusiasm from the sororities themselves as we went to their ‘parties’ for a second time… this time to hear about their philanthropies. No, in spite of popular international opinion sorority girls are not dumb, nor spend all their time preening and applying more lip-gloss. Philanthropies are a significant part of sorority life; with groups at Duke raising tens of thousands of dollars for really fantastic causes. The day was long, no denying it, if called back to 7 sororities you would start your day at 1:00pm and finish at 10:00pm (we were all a little hoarse). Making decisions to rank 2 sororities as 'bottom' was really hard, as it still felt a little early to be sure of my opinions of each one’s ‘feel’. Given that I am the most indecisive human on the planet (with the exception of my mother) I may or may not have been the last girl filling out pref cards in the conference centre.

There is 5 days break until we find out what our next lot of cuts are, and girls are desperately trying not to get their hearts set on ‘the one’. It’s hard not to wish that you won’t get dropped from a particular one or two, but for the moment I am trying to keep an open mind. (Still fingers crossed!!)

Until round 3 – “Sisterhood Round”!